You pull into the Kroger parking lot, ready to shop. But, you stop, struck by an odd site in the blue handicap space. It’s a car, loaded to the brim with mail, 20 year old newspapers, and plethora of McDonald’s extra large fountain drink cups.
It can be hard to let go.
I call this: Trimming the Fat. Sometimes a steak has way too much marbling and we must know when to slice that blubber in order get to the real meat of the meal. Life is like that often times. Objects. Circumstances… People. Things come into our lives at times when we need them. Sometimes they come because they need us. But, there comes a time, and this is usually the hardest time, when we have to make the choice to let go of that which is holding us back.
Trimming the fat is no easy task. We’re holding on to this extra “weight” because it served some form of purpose at one time or another. That purpose might have been beneficial to our growth. It might have been emotionally comforting. It might have even been an escape or distraction. Nevertheless, there comes a time in life when we have to lighten our load in order to gain momentum in the present to build a successful future.
This is often easier to do when talking about objects. Those old movie tickets from your first date in 10th grade are probably too degraded to read when you’re 27. However, people are a far trickier circumstance. It is not always easy to cut out a toxic family member or an old friend. There is, after all, emotional attachment coming from both ends. Anyone having gone through a break-up in a neutral relationship can attest to this. When someone is a villain, it’s easy to keep your distance, but someone who is only mildly disruptive is much easier to keep around for the long haul… even if they chip away at your growth potential throughout your life.
There are multiple ways to deal with this issue.
- Cold Turkey: Tell this person you’re done, you’re moving on, and don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out
- The Itzmee: “It’s not you, it’s me, it’s what I’m going through” but let’s be honest, it’s definitely them, and you don’t want to lie
- The Ball (my favorite): You put the Ball in their court. Tell them that you have shit to do and either subtly or directly let them know that they are dragging you down. If they change, your relationship can change, but if they stay the same then they can remain in their emotional pit without you
- Whatever you choose to do, it’s time to take action. You cannot achieve what you don’t set out to do. Nothing happens until you make a move. And it’s time to “get busy livin’ or get busy dyin'”